Get Ya People!!
I was between 6-8 years of age, so my brother was between 4-6. We were shopping with our mom in some little junk store in Jersey City, NJ. We began noticing that the owner/sales clerk was following us from aisle to aisle as we shopped, standing at the end and staring at our every move. As we neared the end of one aisle, my mom said, “When we get to the end, you guys go that way (pointing) and I will go the other way.” We did. The owner/sales clerk was shooketh and not sure what to do. Mommy grabbed our hands and out the door we went. I remember it as clear as day.
Those Black Only/White Only signs weren’t part of my life until 1969, when my parents were relocating us to Alabama. They discovered that college WAS in their future and after having been denied entrance into 3 christian colleges, they decided to go to HBCU Oakwood College in Huntsville, Alabama. We rode with a family friend in a truck with all our belongings. At one stop, I saw the signs. My little 10 year old self didn’t know what to think, but I certainly knew what I was feeling. When we arrived in Alabama, we wanted to eat and found a restaurant in the mall. My parents made sure to sit us near a window by the door, in case we needed to exit quickly……I was 10.
As our family settled in, I watched my parents develop this “radical” awareness of Blackness and inequity…..after all, it was the late 60’s early 70’s and they were affirming themselves and recognizing/challenging the inequities in our society in the safety of an HBCU, down in Dixie. We wore afros and dashikis and they made sure we realized that we were Black and proud of it. They also let us know, that we should stay alert…..woke as it were….. because errbody in America didn’t believe what we knew to be true and would do all they could to wrest from us what we knew was rightfully ours. And, so we began our journey through this country I call home……America……..born here……but clearly told that I didn’t belong.
And, the incidents kept coming……in my lifetime…….
-My mom integrated a local white christian school to do her student teaching……in 1975.
-In my California grad school, a PWI, my professor wrote in my file that “Donna seems distant and withdrawn in class and reads magazines….unable to connect.” Fact is, I was tired of the classes’ shenanigans and was listening while trying to survive by reading my Essence Magazine. Later, after I led the class in an assignment she wrote “Donna did an excellent job in leading the class. She presented well, connected, managed the class and was able to set goals and make assignments. She did a great job!” Well of course I did!! That’s what I do!!
-In that same grad school, our dorm neighbors didn’t know collard greens were greens….they thought only broccoli were greens. And, yes, they wanted to touch our hair….they thought it would be prickly and sharp……
-On my first job, I worked for a state institution. Part of the requirement of the job was to live in the community I worked. We needed a new place to live when I got married so we started searching. Found some lovely places. First landlord was willing to rent to us. But, then he was threatened by his neighbors for even considering us as tenants, so he raised the rent. Second landlord told my colleague…who referred us….”You didn’t say they were Black. They sounded white on the phone”. Third landlord met us to show us the space, then said it was rented when we drove up. Did a little experiment back at the office….having my Black employee and White employee call for an appointment and watched racism work. Black employee told it was rented. White employee given an appointment time. So I called some folk in Atlanta - HUD - and next thing you know we had a lease. All this was happening as my new, white co-worker moved in and found a house on the golf course in the same community.
-At work whenever our colleagues went to a conference, we knew they were speaking about a Black person when they shared that the session they went to was so awesome…..the presenter knew her information, spoke well and they were surprised at how good a job she did.
-Whenever I traveled for my job in the southern part of the state, my boss told me to go into my hotel and do not come out till morning in time for our meeting. The staff at the offices there, that I came to audit, wanted to know why the “Black girls” were the ones in charge? A sampling of what else was there in that community.
-Walking through a hotel lobby with my adult son who was carrying a TV to take to our room when a stranger approaching us says “Where’d you steal that from?”
-Same son shopping, was alerted by a Black salesperson that the police were on their way because her white co-worker thought he looked suspicious and had called them. She didn’t want him to freak out. Although, the Black sales person was the manager and should have handled anything like that, in the first place. And, she had not seen him as a threat.
-Seeing patients in my own clinic who are waiting for the OWNER to show up. Or a patient communicating that I’m not sure about some information that I’m sharing to improve their health. So when I pull rank and start spouting credentials, gonna let me know they knew all about my graduate school….except they didn’t…..because it was in neither of the places they knew it was. But, of course!!
-Watching our patients be shocked when my husband actually puts his hand on them to perform physical therapy. “None of the “other” physical therapists touched me…..they just sat on the other side of the room and told me what to do,” they say.
I’m sure you have your stories too. Some of the worst I’ve heard are from a college friend Odell, whose experiences were at a “Christian” School.
So, the racist, white supremacist, terrorist murderer who killed 10 of my people this week is not new to us. If you’re Black in this country, you are always dipping and dodging through the maze of racism and micro-aggressions thrown at you. Or you are grieving the impact of that same maze on some of your folk. And, while the laws have been changed, the hearts have not. These descendants of the enslavers have carried this grudge for hundreds of years and like the cicadas that go underground, they emerge every so many years, to devour their prey.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month.
My heart is struggling.
Buffalo.
It’s taking me OUT!!
It’s no wonder Black folk are disparate in every measure in this country.
We are lifetime exposed to trauma that WILL. NOT. STOP!!
The perpetrators actually believe what they espouse.
They have continued to teach this dogma since the 1865 emancipation.
Then the gaslighting starts!!
It’s time to get out of denial.
We’re not imagining any of this.
And, it’s taking a toll on our collective lives.
Black folk have to realize that we live in a country founded by abusers who have continued to abuse us since at least 1619. And, it’s not gonna stop.
The abuse is not gonna stop!
This week on the Ricky Smiley Show, I heard a Dr. Tartt talking about the need for therapy. He noted that finally Black men are leading the pack to get some help for their broken hearts and wounded souls. I was so happy to hear this!!
We have to find the balance between our Faith/Historically Correct Black Jesus and the need for therapy and coping skills……….cause divorcing our abuser is nearly impossible. But, we can get help to cope and certainly continue in the work of Jesus the Christ himself - that of fighting for Social Justice and equity for all.
Garnell Whitfield, Former Buffalo Fire Commissioner, whose mother was one of the 10 victims, echoed much of what we are all feeling in a NYT Article:
“We’re not just hurting, we’re angry, we’re mad. This shouldn’t have happened. We do our best to be good citizens, good people. We believe in God. We trust Him. We treat people with decency. We love even our enemies. You expect us to keep doing this over and over and over again…..forgive and forget. While the people we elect and trust in offices across this country do their best not to protect us. Not to consider us equal.”
In my culture, when a disagreement is going on and you get to a point of being through and are no longer engaging, we often say “You need to get your people”. It literally means that I didn’t start this mess. It’s clearly your people who did and you need to get them up off of me!!
White America.
You need to Get Ya People.
We did not start this mess.
Yawl did.
Jesus the Christ ain’t wit this mess, so keep His name out of it.
And, if you are white and say you don’t believe in the racist, white supremacist, terrorist dogma and attacks that are being perpetrated across this country, then stop being complicit and do something about it.
Today.
Cause we is past tired.
Sick of It!! Get Ya People!! It’s Wellness Wednesday!!
I’m Still Shoutin’ Ova Here!!
Donna
“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but agains principalities, against powers against the rulers of the darkness of this world, agains spiritual wickedness in high places.” Ephesians 6:12
“By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. John 13:35
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