It's The Deaths for Me.......
Recently, as I’ve signed on to Social Media, the overwhelming amount of death notices and requests for prayer for the dying and the sick hits me in my gut and my heart starts to hurt. And, then I don’t want to scroll. I don’t want to answer the phone. And, I don’t want to make the call to inform somebody. It’s a painful reminder of our mortality. And, while we are deep in COVID, it’s not just COVID sickness and death that I am watching and experiencing personally. It’s the disappointment of prayers that God answered differently that I hoped and prayed for. It’s the frequency and finality of people I know and love leaving here. It’s the range of ages of the people I’m losing. It’s the reminder that our lives are but vapors and that it’s appointed unto all men once to die.
The. Grief.
And, today is the 16th anniversary of my own mother’s death.
She was slipping away on a Friday night. I watched her delay her death by about 36 hours, till my husband got home, so that I wouldn’t be alone when it happened. She admitted so on the morning that she passed. I lay with her body until the funeral home came to get her. I watched my sweet husband carry her body down the steps to the waiting attendants. I stood at the door of my home until they placed her in the hearse. Heartbroken.
She was the last of my immediate family to pass. I’d stood by the bedside of her and my brother and my dad as their lives slipped away. And, I had a lot of questions. We’d prayed. There was anointing. They’d made better lifestyle/health choices. Still…..here I was zipping up body bags and picking out burial plots and closing caskets and grieving…….grieving that a God could let this happen to me.
And, as I live through this mess of a pandemic that we are now all experiencing, I’m feeling a lot of those feelings again as I watch people slipping away……
Yet, when my heart calms back down, I am reminded of a few things……
This evil world is not our home……we are just passing through.
Sometimes, illness and death happen because of choices we’ve made. Sometimes, illness and death happen because of choices others have made. Sometimes, illness and death happen because God is up to something. And, sometimes illness and death just happen…….and other than sin……there’s no real reason you can come up with. And that bothers some of us deeply.
These last couple of years have challenged us to our core. We’re bothered by the suddenness of the losses. We’re challenged by the volume of loss. And, we’re definitely aching as we grieve via ZOOM. It feels like we are alone after many of our loved ones died alone. But……we are not alone. And, as painful as it is to watch and experience, I believe that God is speaking to those who are leaving and those who are left……if we are listening.
Just like a parent, he is putting His children safely to sleep. More than them being alive and well, He wants them healed for eternity. Because, when we only think of healing as being in the physical realm, we really miss out on being made whole…..and what God is doing in the spiritual realm. And, that is what the Creator God wants to do for us…..make us whole. Because He knows what’s coming…….He wants us to be safe until he wakes us up in the morning of eternity.
I know it feels like Hell right now. But, today, on the anniversary of my momma’s death, I want to let you know that though it doesn’t make sense right now……He really knows what He’s doing…….and if we could see the end from the beginning, we’d get it.
I miss my family terribly. I really hated to see them go. But, I watched them talk things over with Jesus. I saw the shift in their spirits. I know that they were made whole. And, while the pain of their loss was intense and continues in waves, I cannot wait to see them again. Healed for eternity. Not knowing how much time has passed. Looking with joy into the face of Jesus, who has waited for millennia to be reunited with the children He loves.
Death.
It’s the deaths for me that are causing me to really pause and reevaluate my living. Cause I don’t want it to be in vain. And, I def don’t want to lose out on eternity.
Momma……..you’d have a lot to say about the things that are happening on this earth right now. It’s clear that it’s closer to Michael standing up. Keep resting……can’t wait to be caught up and see you and daddy and Stephen again. This world is not my home.
“Therefore, when Jesus saw her weeping…..He groaned in the spirit and was troubled…..Jesus wept.” John 11: 33, 35.
“Good people pass away; the godly often die before their time. But no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come.” Isaiah 57:1
“Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.” Psalm 116:15
“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain; for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4
I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but we gon be alright!!
I’m Still Shoutin’ Ova Here!!
Donna
#momma #death #grief #healing #hope #covid #illness #faith #comfort #resurrection #cookinupgoodhealth